artists, book club, cozy blogging, creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

healing through art

hi theydies and gentlethems i hope your week is going well! today i’d like to talk about something near and dear to my heart — healing through art 🌱🖤

so as some of you may know i just published issue one of my new zine The Home Brew! it aims to be a collective, a creative cauldron of ideas, for those living in the shadows.

the whole point of The Home Brew is to give us all a place to heal through our creative soul work! and i want to chat a little bit about that today.

art therapy is the first thing that ever clicked for me. learning to express myself through these new and creative ways gave me room to really examine my feelings and what i was going through. it gave me a place to cope and heal in a healthy, productive way.

it was messy.

i think it always will be because in general i’m just a messy person

but it was fun and it was healing and it was cathartic and it was restorative.

when i first moved into my grandmas house back when i was 19 the walls of my room were bare and empty.

i felt hallow there.

and i first i was tentative to put something that i made on my walls because i didn’t think it would be ~aesthetically pleasing~ but damn. decorating my space with my art was the best move i ever made

personal paintings and mixed media collages and just so many different types of creative expression! it gave me room to FEEL!

and that’s what i so desperately needed at the time. room to feel and process in a healthy, not-so-destructive, way.

and that’s what i hope The Home Brew can be now.

a place for indie artists to plant their first thoughts and rough drafts.

the first notes of a song. a sketch done in the corner of napkin.

a little place to feel out our emotions and share them with others.

a safe space for creatives of all kinds

cozy blogging, Personal, soft and powerful

i suck at coping

what is up theydies and gentlethems i’m sorry this post is about 14 hours late but what can i say – a bitch is struggling.

i skipped group therapy three times this week and i’m supposed to go tomorrow but i am SCARED so today instead of incoherent ramblings i’m going to make a list of coping mechanisms that ARENT harmful or toxic as a little reminder to myself and maybe even others for those ~bad days~


  • abstinence (sobriety)
  • breathing exercises
  • physical exercising
  • create!
  • communicate your feelings
  • healthy distractions
  • forgiveness
  • help someone out
  • do your dishes
  • do your laundry
  • just do some dang chores in general because if you’re in slump you’ve probably been putting them off
  • take your meds!
  • drink some water
  • go for a walk
  • remember why you’ve e discussed and learned in therapy
  • call a friend
  • pause and think
  • mediate
  • listen to music
  • dance to music!
  • play a video game
  • make sure you’re listening and hearing and understanding those around you – and yourSELF
  • spend time with your pets
  • spend time with friends and family
  • take a nap
  • eat a healthy meal
  • eat some ice cream because it’s good soul food
  • do some yoga
  • listen to a podcast
  • spend time with fresh air

and that’s the list i have written in my journal! if you have any other good coping mechanisms throw them my way!!!

much love

mmt

artists, book club, cozy blogging, creative writing, diary, Personal, poetry, soft and powerful, tarot, vlog

the home brew – submissions OPEN

what is UP theydies and gentlethems? i hope you’re all having a lovely week.

usually today i’d do a ~cozy post~ but i’m interrupting our usual programming for an announcement from The Home Brew

SUBMISSIONS FOR ISSUE ONE CLOSE ON SEPTEMBER 22.

(submissions are ABSOLUTELY still welcome but they will be pushed back to the second issue!)

i have received some of the most beautiful pieces of art i have ever seen, i absolutely love this. i am so excited to be able to create a community of rad human artists and creatives and give us a space to GROW as artists and as people! thank you for sharing your soul work with me!

“a monthly literary and art publication coming soon to a browser near you (and maybe even as a physical zine!)

The Home Brew is here to be creative cauldron of ideas. a place where the voices of those in the shadows can come together and meld into something magical.

i’m hoping to discuss topics such as:

spirituality

mental health awareness

LGBTQ+ lifestyle

cozy witchcraft

modern poetry

mixed media/digital art

photography

and whatever else we can come up with together”

all mediums are welcome! the submissions info is as follows:

• email me: freelovingwitch@gmail.com

in the email – use the subject SUBMISSION – and include the following:

• who are you? (name, pronouns, passions, whatever you’d like everyone to know about you)

• what are you submitting? (is it a song? a poetry collection? a website? an entire soundcloud account/album? let me know) describe it!

• what’s your creative process like?

• what would you like to say about what you’re submitting

• links to promote you (blog, twitter handle, insta name, etc)

• something that makes you YOU! what is your passions what is your purpose what pushes you to create!

attach any links or files you’d like to be reviewed and anything else you’d like me to know.

let’s cultivate a space for art together 🌻

mmt

creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

poetry as meditation

welcome, theydies and gentlethems, to another beautiful beginning of another beautiful week

today i wanted to write a little bit about mindful poetry and how this can work as mediation. so let’s dive right in:


we begin with our breathing.

3 sets of deep breaths

inhale (pause, think)

exhale all the negative thoughts and energy

rinse, repeat. rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.

now form an image in your mind’s eye. and hold on to it as if if you can feel yourself being enveloped by it.

today we will imagine ourself as a stone at the bottom of a riverbed.

we start by describing ourselves and our surroundings.

i am cool and confident. i am steady and unmoving. i am a strong force in nature that refuses to be buried or burdened by the outer world.

the stone does not move and neither do we.

now, as we sit here, thoughts and emotions and images may rise and fall into and from our mind.

let them.

do not follow them, do not lead them, do not let them bury inside your mind’s eyes for you are the stone and you do not get carried away by the waves.

and that’s what we do.

we are the stone. we let our thoughts and feelings wash over us, maybe even shape us, but we do not get swept up in them. we do not let them carry us away. for we are steady, strong, and unmoving.

honor your feelings but do not become burdened by them.

note them; acknowledge them. say hi and honor them and where they’ve come from but do not get swept up; we are our own personal endeavor.

now, when you have settled in this rhythm, of breathing and noting and flowing, we will hold still. we will focus on one central image of peace of calmness and hold the feeling it brings up in our chest.

keep that feeling of peace and let it carry you throughout the day.

whenever you find yourself getting swept up into the current remember the stone and hold steady.

you are your own port in the storm.


“you are your own port in the storm,

your own central peace,

your own calming strength.

remind yourself of your steady growth

and flow freely into the unknown”

mmt

Personal, soft and powerful

thoughts from recovery

today i am struggling.

i wanted to write a lovely little piece about art therapy and it’s benefits but my mind is fuzzy and i feel so lackluster it hurts.

i promise i’ll put a pin in art therapy and revisit it later this week, but for today i want to talk about recovery and sobriety.

(trigger warning: self harm, mental illness, addiction)

i’ve been in the therapy/recovery process for seven years. what started as trauma counseling quickly unfolded into weekly meetings and the looming thoughts of a terrible “relapse”.

my first addiction was self-harm. i hurt myself from the time i was 15 to about a month before my 18th birthday. it was three years of self inflicted torture and i felt i deserved every minute of it.

but i got “clean” and i’ve stayed “clean” for five years now (and it’s been a blessing) but those five years were HARD. harder and more exhausting than when i was self harming out of anger and depression.

so i started swapping coping mechanisms.

when i was 16 i started smoking cigarettes regularly.

at 17 i started drinking; heavily.

by 18 i was smoking weed daily calling it self medication and recreation all in one fun high.

this grew and blossomed into hazy years and i won’t lie, i grew A LOT. and i’m thankful for the fact that i stopped literally self harming even though i had only developed bad coping mechanisms in its place. but i justified it.

i still justify it.

“smoking a cigarette is better then cutting”

but is it? my therapists say yes but my brain says if i’m using them the same way isn’t it just as bad?

“having a couple drinks is normal and not unhealthy”

but what about when it gets to the point where i can’t remember my evenings and feel miserable the next morning.

what about the guilt? and shame? am i doing this to myself?

now, i’m waking up and growing more at 23 and honestly i’m lost and scared.

i’m in an intensive outpatient program. for the fifth time now. i quit the first four early and i made a promise that i’d stick it out this time but woo boy a bitch is struggling.

am i an addict?

am i an alcoholic?

am i still “self harming”?

i struggle with this. daily. constantly. and even as i write this, i don’t have answers to my questions.

and that’s scary.

i’m screaming into the void but it’s not even screaming back.

some programs say abstinence in sobriety and recovery is the only way.

some programs say to practice using more safely. consume alcohol more responsibly. smoke less frequently.

but can i? do i just lack willpower? what am i doing wrong?

i made it to one week sober and then convinced myself i could handle a drink.

but that turned into two nights of over-drinking, maybe even binging, i don’t know the exact line to draw there. and i’m left feeling guilt and shame again.

i’m not trying to bring the atmosphere down here, but i guess i’m trying to start a conversation.

we all pull through. i always pull through.

and i’m still growing, everyday.

but i worry i could be doing more, and faster. i worry i’m not doing good enough. i worry i’m failing at recovery.

and i know, i know recovery isn’t a linear process but i wish i at least had some sign or affirmation that i’m going the right way.

*

on a lighter note:

today i’m taking the day off for myself as a “mental health day”

i’m taking a relaxing and cleansing shower, tidying the house, tracking all my daily routines, and spending time with my teeny family.

i’m doing things that fill me with peace and love and joy and i’m not dwelling on the hurt. only the happiness.

much lovex

mmt

cozy blogging, Personal, soft and powerful

habit tracking

wow today’s gonna be a toughie.

i overSLEPT. i got about 13 hours of sleep and woo boy i feel like garbage.

today’s post is relatively similar to yesterday’s — i want to talk about habit tracking.

yes, i know, this is just boring part of cozy routines but hey o y’all get to have the ~depression experience~ today so enjoy!

theydies and gentlethems this is why habit tracking crucial – even in the days when you wake up with zero spoons, you’re cozy routines and habit tracking will give you something to fall back on. you can literally SEE what you accomplished yesterday and what you CAN accomplish today. even if it’s just a bit smaller.

this is also why i prescribe to the “no zero-day” philosophy! (we did it, reddit)

so yesterday i my lil habit tracker tells me i:

• woke up on time

• got my walk in or hit my step goal

• smoked 🙁

• did my tarot spread

• took a shower

• did duolingo

• (worked) on mySELF

• wrote

• meditated

• worked on my blog

• read

• worked on my zine

• took all my meds

• and stayed sober!

so: even though yesterday i had about 6 spoons and today i feel like i only have 3; i can still rely on my habit tracking to keep ME on track and growing in the right direction.

so, no i didn’t wake up on time today. but i can continue to stay sober. i can keep my streak going on duolingo – it only takes like ten minutes bitch you got this. i find peace in meditation and tarot reading and i’ve already worked those into my morning routine AND my lover and i are going on a walk after dinner this evening.

granted:

• it’ll probably be a shorter walk

• i already smoked 🙁

• i spent less time dedicated to tarot and meditation today

• and sobriety is harder today…

but baby steps are still progress and that’s we’re doing here.

(wanna see something cute?

she’s laying on me as a cat bed while i write this. pet therapy at its finest.)

overall babes, i hope you find SOMETHING that helps you help yourself grow.

big fanatical plans and organizational habits were so enticing and i bought every planner and stationary set i could find but damn your bitch is TIRED. (and broke lol) but honestly this is something that actually seems helpful to me right now and i thought maybe it could help you too.

let me know what kind of hinges you like to track in your planner or what magickal things you like to keep in your routine! i love chatting with y’all 🌱🖤

mmt

Personal, soft and powerful

the importance of seeing the sun rise

welcome to the latest freelovingwitch energy healing session! today, theydies and gentlethems, we will be discussing sunrises!

now i know right off the bat there’s a few people thinking “what do sunrises have to do with energy healing?”

well my answer to that is A LOT!

there’s a reason i always start my day with at least one round of sun salutations ☀️🧘🏻‍♀️

in tarot, The Sun symbolizes a moment in time where it truly “doesn’t get better than this!” it’s a reminder to let the sun shine into your life and into your heart. it’s one of the more simplistic cards but the meaning is always positive. and as such, the sun itself is a vibrant (and literal) reminder of the beauty of life on mother earth.

the sun is a powerful force. an energetic force. a healing force.

while a lot of us joke that the ocean and the moon are cosmic girlfriends – we sometimes forget how powerful and beautiful the sun is, too!

so why sunrises?

it’s the perfect time, literally and figuratively, to greet the day. do some yoga. go for a walk. eat a healthy breakfast. make a list of intentions or a to-do list for the day. do SOMETHING in the morning to center yourself and start your day in a balanced state of mind.

and honestly, who wouldn’t want to watch the sun come up? i love when the sky changes colors, do you?

have a blessed week theydies and gentlethems 🌱🖤

mmt

cozy blogging, creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

🧘🏻‍♀️ defining meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️

happy wid-week break everyone; i hope these last couple of days have been filled with positivity and growth 🌱

i appreciate everyone being so patient with my posts as my life grows and settles; i know i’ve been only posting haphazardly lately but i’ve had some seeds of ideas i’d like to start planting.

in my personal life – i’m hoping to get back into school for my mft license and get certified as a yoga therapist! i’m really hoping to expand the freelovingwitch coven into a beautiful combination of mind, body, and soul. i want to work to bridge the supposed gap between the rational and the spiritual. the emotional and sensible. the mundane and ethereal.

it’s something i’m truly passionate about and i’m starting to find that working with people, one-on-one or in small groups, is something that really brings me peace, balance, and joy.

and that brings us to today’s post:

today i wanted to talk about meditation and how many different meanings, usages, and forms it can take on.

in this era of ~mindfulness~ dbt tactics are the wave and, honestly, i LOVE that. it makes us think about our brains and behaviors in different ways. and as it makes its way into more counseling offices, schools, and work environments it’s becoming more and more likely that you’ll hear terms related mindfulness and other wholistic practices.

what i want to do is talk about meditation – i want to break it down to its absolute simplest form and show you how to incorporate it into your daily life.

everyday witchcraft;

practical magic;

mind.body.soul.

meditation has a couple of different definitions ranging from religious to general contemplation. i, personally, like to take the middle route.

for me – meditation is intent. it’s what you put into something. meditating is the act of putting your entire SELF into something and focusing solely on it for a set period of time.

i know that the first thing that comes to mind is someone cute sitting crisscross applesauce with their eyes closed for thirty minutes and i mean, that’s all cool mate, but sometimes it’s doing any sort of exercise; anything you put your intent and focus on.

sometimes it’s laying down with crystals. sometimes it’s painting or making art or music. sometimes it’s going on drive by yourself. sometimes it’s really just doing the dishes or going for a walk.

and what i hope you see here is that meditation is not a strict practice. there is no way to do it wrong. and there is no downside to it, all beneficial. so try to incorporate it in your daly routine!

take time – anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes, go for it – and just BE with yourSELF.

(hum your favorite song for extra throat chakra points 💙)

there are so many benefits to mindfulness and so many ways to incorporate practical magick into our everyday lifestyles.

30 minutes of mind, body, soul exercise a day, when you really put your whole self into it, can really make a difference in your general health and well-being.

i’m definitely not claiming that yoga and deep breathing will cure your chronic illnesses. but for me, at the very least, they help take the edge off in a healthy, constructive way – and isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

xx

mmt

cozy blogging, Personal, soft and powerful

chakra cleansing, healing, and realignment

hello theydies and gentlethems, i hope this start to your week is filled with joy and prosperity. today we’re going to be talking chakra healing and all that it entails!

but megan, what are ~chakras~?

well i’m so glad you asked.

to put it simply: the chakras are energy centers in the body. they run up the back of our spine and cycle our energies ranging from our roots to our connection with the divine. they’re what keep us balanced and centered.

there are plenty of methods to read or understand your chakras and how widely or tightly they’re rotating. i personally use my crystal pendulum and my tarot cards! and this is how i offer energy readings to others has well!

it’s always good to do a check in with your chakras — now what do i mean by that?

it’s good to take a step back and view our energy objectively. are we balanced? are we grounded? are we vibrating at the right frequency? it’s important to scan your body and energy every so often to keep yourself on track.

when our chakras are out of line it can throw everything off!

for instance, if your throat chakra is closed too tightly you much have difficulty expressing yourself, vocalizing your feelings, and communicating with other. or, if you solar plexus chakra is out of alignment you may feel discomfort in your abdomen, a lack of self-assurance, and and doubt in yourself.

so it’s important to keep an eye on everything.

don’t get discouraged if your chakras fall out of perfect sync — shit happens my friends and we’re always being thrown new obstacles to overcome. assessing our energy is the first way to heal our energy.

and now on to that — healing our energy.

once you’ve figured out how your wheels are spinning it’s time to help them out and keep them balanced.

each chakra center in the body has different methods of healing but here are some general insights.

recharge yourself with your crystals – cleansed crystals. pick out ones that help represent the areas you’re trying to enhance. meditate; preferably daily. seriously this one’s a lifesaver. if you take 15 minutes a day to sit and breathe and focus on your inner SELF they’re are so many benefits to it! clarity, insight, trust in yourself. it’s a beautiful thing. do some restorative yoga. research some poses to help you open your every and balance your mind and body.

there are an abundance of things that help keep us balanced and centered and the biggest thing I’ve learned over time is that every individual healing path is different. what you find relaxing and meditative may be a hassle to someone else. what balances you may throw someone else out of sync. trust your gut. trust your intuition. trust your SELF.

as always, if you’re looking for energy healing or tarot readings i’m always available for sessions!

love and light,

mmt

creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

lets talk accountability, mental health, and reserving our spoons

this post was supposed to be about the benefits of sobriety but uh it turns out i suck at being consistent so now we’re here to talk about my biggest problem: accountability.

let’s get right down to it: this has become the bane of my existence. i used to be so self-sufficient, truly. but after spending so much time in my trauma-induced slump i just… lost it.

and yes, i think some of it has been and will always be affected this way because of my mental illness. but, honesty, i think it’s gotten to the point where i use my mental illness as a crutch.

i don’t think this was ever intentional. i (obviously) never wanted this. but i think depression becomes a bit of a habit.

now what do i mean by that?

i feel like, sometimes, our minds can trap us in a sort of self-inflicted prison.

honestly, i’m having more trouble writing this than i thought, and i’m not 100% sure why?

i think…. i’m scared… of failure?

i think, in my lizard brain, i’m scared that if i tell myself i’ll do something – and then fuck it up – that’s even worse than never trying in the first place. so i’ve become complacent in my mediocrity.

and, honestly? i’m fucking sick of it.

it’s time to be better.

so how do we do that when we still have to wear the cement shoes of depression?

i’m not sure yet, but i’m determined to make some moves. keep pushing and pulling myself forward.

but i have to be honest with myself about my limits – and that in itself can be so frustrating.

i used to be able to accomplish so much in one day.

i feel like i used to be able to conquer the world before my trauma.

but i’m tired of living in that headspace.

i deserve better.

let me say that again: i deserve better.

because, i think, for so long i had forgotten that. and i hadn’t believed it.

so i how do we turn this new belief, this new found motivation and faith in myself, into something productive? into something meaningful? into something fulfilling?

for me, it’s lists and planners.

for my date mate, it’s music and reminders.

for different people, it’s different things. but i think it comes down to this: utilize your natural strengths, you may surprise yourself. let your truest self shine through and guide you.

because, honestly, somethings just aren’t worth the spoons. not worth the energy.

so don’t stress about the things that are out of your control. but don’t give up working on yourself everyday. don’t become complacent in self-doubt and fear.

keep striving, keep thriving.