artists, book club, cozy blogging, creative writing, diary, Personal, poetry, soft and powerful, tarot, vlog

the home brew – submissions OPEN

what is UP theydies and gentlethems? i hope you’re all having a lovely week.

usually today i’d do a ~cozy post~ but i’m interrupting our usual programming for an announcement from The Home Brew

SUBMISSIONS FOR ISSUE ONE CLOSE ON SEPTEMBER 22.

(submissions are ABSOLUTELY still welcome but they will be pushed back to the second issue!)

i have received some of the most beautiful pieces of art i have ever seen, i absolutely love this. i am so excited to be able to create a community of rad human artists and creatives and give us a space to GROW as artists and as people! thank you for sharing your soul work with me!

“a monthly literary and art publication coming soon to a browser near you (and maybe even as a physical zine!)

The Home Brew is here to be creative cauldron of ideas. a place where the voices of those in the shadows can come together and meld into something magical.

i’m hoping to discuss topics such as:

spirituality

mental health awareness

LGBTQ+ lifestyle

cozy witchcraft

modern poetry

mixed media/digital art

photography

and whatever else we can come up with together”

all mediums are welcome! the submissions info is as follows:

• email me: freelovingwitch@gmail.com

in the email – use the subject SUBMISSION – and include the following:

• who are you? (name, pronouns, passions, whatever you’d like everyone to know about you)

• what are you submitting? (is it a song? a poetry collection? a website? an entire soundcloud account/album? let me know) describe it!

• what’s your creative process like?

• what would you like to say about what you’re submitting

• links to promote you (blog, twitter handle, insta name, etc)

• something that makes you YOU! what is your passions what is your purpose what pushes you to create!

attach any links or files you’d like to be reviewed and anything else you’d like me to know.

let’s cultivate a space for art together 🌻

mmt

cozy blogging, Personal, soft and powerful

habit tracking

wow today’s gonna be a toughie.

i overSLEPT. i got about 13 hours of sleep and woo boy i feel like garbage.

today’s post is relatively similar to yesterday’s — i want to talk about habit tracking.

yes, i know, this is just boring part of cozy routines but hey o y’all get to have the ~depression experience~ today so enjoy!

theydies and gentlethems this is why habit tracking crucial – even in the days when you wake up with zero spoons, you’re cozy routines and habit tracking will give you something to fall back on. you can literally SEE what you accomplished yesterday and what you CAN accomplish today. even if it’s just a bit smaller.

this is also why i prescribe to the “no zero-day” philosophy! (we did it, reddit)

so yesterday i my lil habit tracker tells me i:

• woke up on time

• got my walk in or hit my step goal

• smoked 🙁

• did my tarot spread

• took a shower

• did duolingo

• (worked) on mySELF

• wrote

• meditated

• worked on my blog

• read

• worked on my zine

• took all my meds

• and stayed sober!

so: even though yesterday i had about 6 spoons and today i feel like i only have 3; i can still rely on my habit tracking to keep ME on track and growing in the right direction.

so, no i didn’t wake up on time today. but i can continue to stay sober. i can keep my streak going on duolingo – it only takes like ten minutes bitch you got this. i find peace in meditation and tarot reading and i’ve already worked those into my morning routine AND my lover and i are going on a walk after dinner this evening.

granted:

• it’ll probably be a shorter walk

• i already smoked 🙁

• i spent less time dedicated to tarot and meditation today

• and sobriety is harder today…

but baby steps are still progress and that’s we’re doing here.

(wanna see something cute?

she’s laying on me as a cat bed while i write this. pet therapy at its finest.)

overall babes, i hope you find SOMETHING that helps you help yourself grow.

big fanatical plans and organizational habits were so enticing and i bought every planner and stationary set i could find but damn your bitch is TIRED. (and broke lol) but honestly this is something that actually seems helpful to me right now and i thought maybe it could help you too.

let me know what kind of hinges you like to track in your planner or what magickal things you like to keep in your routine! i love chatting with y’all 🌱🖤

mmt

creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

lets talk accountability, mental health, and reserving our spoons

this post was supposed to be about the benefits of sobriety but uh it turns out i suck at being consistent so now we’re here to talk about my biggest problem: accountability.

let’s get right down to it: this has become the bane of my existence. i used to be so self-sufficient, truly. but after spending so much time in my trauma-induced slump i just… lost it.

and yes, i think some of it has been and will always be affected this way because of my mental illness. but, honesty, i think it’s gotten to the point where i use my mental illness as a crutch.

i don’t think this was ever intentional. i (obviously) never wanted this. but i think depression becomes a bit of a habit.

now what do i mean by that?

i feel like, sometimes, our minds can trap us in a sort of self-inflicted prison.

honestly, i’m having more trouble writing this than i thought, and i’m not 100% sure why?

i think…. i’m scared… of failure?

i think, in my lizard brain, i’m scared that if i tell myself i’ll do something – and then fuck it up – that’s even worse than never trying in the first place. so i’ve become complacent in my mediocrity.

and, honestly? i’m fucking sick of it.

it’s time to be better.

so how do we do that when we still have to wear the cement shoes of depression?

i’m not sure yet, but i’m determined to make some moves. keep pushing and pulling myself forward.

but i have to be honest with myself about my limits – and that in itself can be so frustrating.

i used to be able to accomplish so much in one day.

i feel like i used to be able to conquer the world before my trauma.

but i’m tired of living in that headspace.

i deserve better.

let me say that again: i deserve better.

because, i think, for so long i had forgotten that. and i hadn’t believed it.

so i how do we turn this new belief, this new found motivation and faith in myself, into something productive? into something meaningful? into something fulfilling?

for me, it’s lists and planners.

for my date mate, it’s music and reminders.

for different people, it’s different things. but i think it comes down to this: utilize your natural strengths, you may surprise yourself. let your truest self shine through and guide you.

because, honestly, somethings just aren’t worth the spoons. not worth the energy.

so don’t stress about the things that are out of your control. but don’t give up working on yourself everyday. don’t become complacent in self-doubt and fear.

keep striving, keep thriving.

Personal, soft and powerful

six realistic self-care tips

more than just face masks and bubble baths!

this isn’t a fun article about learning to be strong or brave or resilient – this an article about how to survive when your mental illness is starting to spiral out of hand and you feel like you’re losing your grip. when you’ve spent the past three days in bed, re-read these tips and help yourself out of a dark pit.

six life saving tips for pushing through negative mental health days:

1. dry shampoo is a life saver — the hardest thing about recovering from depressions? knowing that you’re supposed to be “better” but still feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. don’t feel like showering (again)? dry shampoo. overslept put have plans today? dry shampoo. actually made it to the gym or work or school? (congratulations!) and also, dry shampoo.

2. change your damn sheets — spending three consecutive days in bed? change your sheets. now. it’s okay to need a break and to sleep in when you’re illnesses won’t let you drift off peacefully; but don’t forget to wash your sheets and keep your living space feeling tidy. (bonus points if you wash your pjs too)

3. do your dishes — if you haven’t gotten out of your pajamas in three days i’m assuming you haven’t done dishes either. clean up. you’ll feel healthier, cleaner, and be able to think and feel more freely.

4. take a shower and brush your teeth — again, the tidiness principle will come in handy. if your living area feels opens and clean, YOU are more likely to feel open and clean! wash yourself, cleanse yourself. take a shower or even a nice, relaxing bath! take your time. use this as an excuse to spend time really loving yourself.

5. drink some water and eat some (nutritious) food — seriously, an iced coffee or a spoonful of peanut butter is NOT a meal replacement. yes i am calling out your depression in full force now. really take the time to make yourself a filling meal. even if it’s just cooking ramen the long way and adding some veggies to it. your body, and in return your mind, will thank you.

6. reach out — family, friends, internet buddies, whoever. CALL SOMEONE. take advantage of all those time they said “call me if you ever need anything!” i promise, you aren’t bothering them. even if you don’t vent for hours, just taking the time to check-in can be a weight off your mind.

all in all, take your time. recovery isn’t a linear process. there are going to be great days and there are going to be horrible days. sometimes you’ll be tired or weak or down. but remember to take care of yourself, first and foremost. nothing should come before your mental health. don’t forget the tidiness principle! if your surroundings feel neat and clean you’re more likely to feel at ease and hopefully even a little happier! rest easy.

creative writing, Personal

mindful mental illness

stop

think

breathe

we are okay

you are okay

i am okay

o

k

a

y

we’re here

we’re loved

we’re love

we are love

inhale

fill yourself up

up to the brim

close your eyes when your comfortable

and search inward

exhale

release

relax

push all of the toxicity out your system

feel the gentle release as all your energy falls into place

pace yourself now

breathing exercises

lungs expanding

mind constricting

stop

think

breathe

whirlpool

whirlwind

racing thoughts

and

lack of concentration

falling apart

eyes squeezed shut

spinning

spinning

spinning

stop

think

breathe

inhale

you know the routine

exhale

you know the routine

inhale

you know the routine

exhale

you know the routine

rinse repeat

rinse repeat

stop

think

breath

stop. think. breathe. stop.think.breathe. stopthinkbreathe

STOP

focus on your SELF

who am i

where am i

who said that

are we talking to ourselves

who’s we

who’s me

who am i

center now

centered now

hidden in three

counting by threes

breathing exercises

counting exercises

grounding exercises

rinse repeat

rinse repeat

stopthinkbreathe

STOP

equanimity

balance

harmony

knowledge

knowing that you’re not okay

and that that’s okay

knowing you want to be better

but still appreciating the you that you are

now

stop

think

breathe

inhale, count

exhale, count

you are safe inside your skin and bones

inhale, count

exhale, count

you are healing from within

inhale, count

exhale, count

you are strong and you safe and you valid

inhale, count

exhale, count

stop

think

breathe

mmt

creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

“soft and powerful” an introduction

hello again theydies and gentlethems today i want to talk about my new project “soft and powerful”

soft and powerful is (hopefully) going to be an interactive/guided journal to help with the process of recovery.

(this is in NO WAY supposed to be a replacement for actual treatment; just a notebook to help keep your thoughts organized)

but i thought NOW would be the perfect time to start working on it.

as some of you may know, my mental health has been a bit of a roller coaster lately (always).

but tomorrow i’m going back to the behavioral health hospital to do my intake and start back up on my recovery journey.

honestly… i’m terrified. i haven’t had the best luck with doctors and therapists and treatments. and i’m scared of starting over in explaining my trauma.

part of me doesn’t feel like i’m ready to be ~open~ about my past. i want to keep it in the past. pack it up. and keep it behind me.

but it keeps coming back to haunt me.

so i guess it’s time to be proactive.

april was hard. the entire first part of this year has been HARD. but i’m starting to feel ~ok~ again and i want to keep it that way. i don’t want to fall back now. i need to find a sense of stability. i need it.

soft and powerful is my way of sharing what i’ve learned in my 5+ years of recovery. it’s a gentle reminder that healing isn’t linear and that asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

things i’m still trying to learn and remember myself. it’ll be a learning experience for everyone involved, i hope.

so now, every week, i’ll be posting updates on soft and powerful. either rants about my mental health journey or lessons i learn in therapy or tips and tricks i’ve learned along the way. maybe you can teach me some things too.

stay in touch 💕

***

as always:

if you’d like to stay up to date with all my going ons you can —

become a patron on patreon (you get access to all my blog posts early! and mail from me and belle each month!)

check out my etsy shop

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or email me with any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions.

freelovingwitch@gmail.com