so, as you may recall, we talked about the DREAMER series already — as much as i could at least.
well, theydies and gentlethems, my brain won’t shut the fuck up so now i have two other pieces in the works. one is tentatively titled “Just Between Us” and the second doesn’t have a name yet but we’re code naming it “Labyrinth” and honestly i’m stoked for both.
i want to publish Labyrinth before JBU but they both have a long way to go still. i’m hoping labyrinth will have a rough draft finished by the end of summer and published by the end of the year and then i’m hoping to have JBU finished by the beginning of 2020 and published sometime later in the year.
so, uh, yea. that’s what i have been and will continue to be working on!
but i wanted to share a little snippet/description of each so here ya go:
• a story of trauma and healing told through dreams and journal entries. an in depth look at how PTSD can haunt someone and their nightmares and waking moments. — (trigger wanting)
“i hear your voice raging from outside my door and and the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. it’s like all the oxygen has left the room and my lungs are collapsing. you pound at the door again, threatening to invade. i close my eyes. i try to scream but no words come out. i try to run but there’s nowhere to go. i’m hiding inside myself now. trapped. but, by who? you or my own damn self. i hear your voice, filled with anger, shouting obscenities in my direction.
everything goes silent. i catch my breath.
but then the door handle turns and all of sudden there you are. invading my house. invading my room. invading…
i jolt up, eyes open, drenched in a cold sweat.
inhale count to four
exhale count to eight
inhale count to four
exhale count to eight
i start to hyperventilate. i’ll never figure out these damn breathing exercises. my wrists ache like they’re desperate for release of the demons inside them.
i try to reason with the monsters inside my head but they follow no path of logic. just the knowledge that hurting myself is easier than letting you hurt me, still, after all this time.
i look at my clock: three in the morning.
nightmares right on schedule. i stare at my ceiling fan and try to follow its path with my eyes, counting its rotations. too exhausted to do anything productive but too petrified to fall back asleep. i grab my journal out from under my bed:
march 28, 2014 — 3:16am
i’m tired… literally and figuratively. i’m drowning in so many emotions and i’m tired of trying to come up for air. the nightmares haven’t stopped. it’s been almost three goddamn years and the nightmares still won’t stop. what am i doing wrong?…”
i know. a bit heavy. but it’s been weighing my mind down and it’s time to release it. release me.
Just Between Us:
• the story of a rollercoaster of a decade long relationship. trials and tribulations, heartache and trust, hope and betrayal. a story about trauma bonding and the effects it has on abusive relationships, abusers, and those being abused. all told through letters to an old friend. — Trigger Warning
i don’t even know if you’ll remember me
we parted ways so long ago
but you said
to always rethink of you
and write to you if anything exciting happened
well nothing exciting ever happens here
but i’ve fallen
again and i’m trying to get out
you could help me get out
e s c a p e
by letting me write to you
you don’t have to reply if my letters,
get too heavy
i know you have a life of your own
but i’m stuck
and this is the only way i can figure to
i’ve fallen off the wagon again
i don’t even know what that terms means to me anymore
it used to mean cutting
slicing my wrists so the physical pain outweighed the emotional toll
but now it’s
and over eating
so i guess
my fall off the wagon wasn’t a major one
but a minor setback
here we are again
i’m not really quite sure who i am anymore
i feel lost
and i’m not sure where to start
or how to even begin
to pick up the pieces
and try again
i want to go home”
i’ll never say i miss you, but i miss what we had. let’s get personal.
so there you have it theydies and gentlethems! some new projects headed your way soon!
as always, let me know what you think in the comments! which series are you most excited for? do you have any questions about them? what does you WIP list look like? let’s chat!