creative writing, Personal, poetry

#mmtpoetry365 — 2/365

i peeled my eyes awake; flinching at the light. i could feel my entire expression contort into a grimace as i realized i had to face another day. not alone, but lonely — hollow in my surroundings. i could hear the silence. listening to the floor creak beneath me or the drone of the fridge or the hum of the lights overhead. this isn’t where i wanted to be. lost, again? i don’t know where to go anymore; or what to do. but i know i’m still looking for home.

i peeled my eyes awake; flinching at the light. i could feel my entire expression contort into a grimace as i realized i had to face another day. not alone, but lonely — hollow in my surroundings. i could hear the silence. listening to the floor creak beneath me or the drone of the fridge or the hum of the lights overhead. this isn’t where i wanted to be. lost, again? i don’t know where to go anymore; or what to do. but i know i’m still looking for home.

artists, book club, cozy blogging, creative writing, Personal, soft and powerful

healing through art

hi theydies and gentlethems i hope your week is going well! today i’d like to talk about something near and dear to my heart — healing through art 🌱🖤

so as some of you may know i just published issue one of my new zine The Home Brew! it aims to be a collective, a creative cauldron of ideas, for those living in the shadows.

the whole point of The Home Brew is to give us all a place to heal through our creative soul work! and i want to chat a little bit about that today.

art therapy is the first thing that ever clicked for me. learning to express myself through these new and creative ways gave me room to really examine my feelings and what i was going through. it gave me a place to cope and heal in a healthy, productive way.

it was messy.

i think it always will be because in general i’m just a messy person

but it was fun and it was healing and it was cathartic and it was restorative.

when i first moved into my grandmas house back when i was 19 the walls of my room were bare and empty.

i felt hallow there.

and i first i was tentative to put something that i made on my walls because i didn’t think it would be ~aesthetically pleasing~ but damn. decorating my space with my art was the best move i ever made

personal paintings and mixed media collages and just so many different types of creative expression! it gave me room to FEEL!

and that’s what i so desperately needed at the time. room to feel and process in a healthy, not-so-destructive, way.

and that’s what i hope The Home Brew can be now.

a place for indie artists to plant their first thoughts and rough drafts.

the first notes of a song. a sketch done in the corner of napkin.

a little place to feel out our emotions and share them with others.

a safe space for creatives of all kinds

artists, book club, cozy blogging, creative writing, diary, Personal, poetry, soft and powerful, tarot, vlog

the home brew – submissions OPEN

what is UP theydies and gentlethems? i hope you’re all having a lovely week.

usually today i’d do a ~cozy post~ but i’m interrupting our usual programming for an announcement from The Home Brew

SUBMISSIONS FOR ISSUE ONE CLOSE ON SEPTEMBER 22.

(submissions are ABSOLUTELY still welcome but they will be pushed back to the second issue!)

i have received some of the most beautiful pieces of art i have ever seen, i absolutely love this. i am so excited to be able to create a community of rad human artists and creatives and give us a space to GROW as artists and as people! thank you for sharing your soul work with me!

“a monthly literary and art publication coming soon to a browser near you (and maybe even as a physical zine!)

The Home Brew is here to be creative cauldron of ideas. a place where the voices of those in the shadows can come together and meld into something magical.

i’m hoping to discuss topics such as:

spirituality

mental health awareness

LGBTQ+ lifestyle

cozy witchcraft

modern poetry

mixed media/digital art

photography

and whatever else we can come up with together”

all mediums are welcome! the submissions info is as follows:

• email me: freelovingwitch@gmail.com

in the email – use the subject SUBMISSION – and include the following:

• who are you? (name, pronouns, passions, whatever you’d like everyone to know about you)

• what are you submitting? (is it a song? a poetry collection? a website? an entire soundcloud account/album? let me know) describe it!

• what’s your creative process like?

• what would you like to say about what you’re submitting

• links to promote you (blog, twitter handle, insta name, etc)

• something that makes you YOU! what is your passions what is your purpose what pushes you to create!

attach any links or files you’d like to be reviewed and anything else you’d like me to know.

let’s cultivate a space for art together 🌻

mmt

creative writing, Personal

“labyrinth” excerpt

welcome back theydies and gentlethems, today i wanted to share with you an excerpt from my next collection which i have code-named “labyrinth”.

if you remover from this post its story of surviving trauma and learning to heal through the recovery process all told through dream sequences, journal entries, and a smidge of exposition.

so here we go:

Trigger Warning

i jolt up, woken up by my own screaming. tears stream down my face as i hyperventilate

inhale count to four

exhale count to six

wait it’s eight

inhale exhale inhale exhale

i can’t catch my breath and i’m panicking now. the room is spinning and my mind is out of control. i’m losing it. i shut my eyes tight until the fireworks light up behind my eyelids – trying to focus on anything other than my spinning thoughts

but then i feel pressure at the foot of my bed. i hear the softest meow and a soft head bumps against my crossed legs.

she’s sitting in my lap now. this strange little creature who seems to sense when i need her. i calm my breaths as i feel her purr against me. it’s okay, i tell her, everythings okay. mommas okay. we’re safe. i’m safe.

i keep repeating it until i finally fall back to sleep with her purring on my chest.

its all about the love of my life.

leave me some feedback, if you feel so inclined. and leave me links to your work so we share!

xx

mmt

creative writing, Personal, poetry

new project updates and first looks

so, as you may recall, we talked about the DREAMER series already — as much as i could at least.

well, theydies and gentlethems, my brain won’t shut the fuck up so now i have two other pieces in the works. one is tentatively titled “Just Between Us” and the second doesn’t have a name yet but we’re code naming it “Labyrinth” and honestly i’m stoked for both.

i want to publish Labyrinth before JBU but they both have a long way to go still. i’m hoping labyrinth will have a rough draft finished by the end of summer and published by the end of the year and then i’m hoping to have JBU finished by the beginning of 2020 and published sometime later in the year.

so, uh, yea. that’s what i have been and will continue to be working on!

but i wanted to share a little snippet/description of each so here ya go:

•••

Labyrinth:

• a story of trauma and healing told through dreams and journal entries. an in depth look at how PTSD can haunt someone and their nightmares and waking moments. — (trigger wanting)

“i hear your voice raging from outside my door and and the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. it’s like all the oxygen has left the room and my lungs are collapsing. you pound at the door again, threatening to invade. i close my eyes. i try to scream but no words come out. i try to run but there’s nowhere to go. i’m hiding inside myself now. trapped. but, by who? you or my own damn self. i hear your voice, filled with anger, shouting obscenities in my direction.

everything goes silent. i catch my breath.

but then the door handle turns and all of sudden there you are. invading my house. invading my room. invading…

i jolt up, eyes open, drenched in a cold sweat.

inhale count to four

exhale count to eight

inhale count to four

exhale count to eight

i start to hyperventilate. i’ll never figure out these damn breathing exercises. my wrists ache like they’re desperate for release of the demons inside them.

i try to reason with the monsters inside my head but they follow no path of logic. just the knowledge that hurting myself is easier than letting you hurt me, still, after all this time.

i look at my clock: three in the morning.

nightmares right on schedule. i stare at my ceiling fan and try to follow its path with my eyes, counting its rotations. too exhausted to do anything productive but too petrified to fall back asleep. i grab my journal out from under my bed:

*

march 28, 2014 — 3:16am

i’m tired… literally and figuratively. i’m drowning in so many emotions and i’m tired of trying to come up for air. the nightmares haven’t stopped. it’s been almost three goddamn years and the nightmares still won’t stop. what am i doing wrong?…”

i know. a bit heavy. but it’s been weighing my mind down and it’s time to release it. release me.

•••

Just Between Us:

• the story of a rollercoaster of a decade long relationship. trials and tribulations, heartache and trust, hope and betrayal. a story about trauma bonding and the effects it has on abusive relationships, abusers, and those being abused. all told through letters to an old friend. — Trigger Warning

“dear friend,

i don’t even know if you’ll remember me

we parted ways so long ago

but you said

to always rethink of you

and write to you if anything exciting happened

well nothing exciting ever happens here

but i’ve fallen

into the

bad place

again and i’m trying to get out

i thought

maybe

you could help me get out

help me

e s c a p e

the

bad place

by letting me write to you

you don’t have to reply if my letters,

my stories,

get too heavy

i know you have a life of your own

but i’m stuck

and this is the only way i can figure to

get out


dear friend,

i’ve fallen off the wagon again

i don’t even know what that terms means to me anymore

it used to mean cutting

slicing my wrists so the physical pain outweighed the emotional toll

but now it’s

smoking

and drinking

and over eating

so i guess

my fall off the wagon wasn’t a major one

but a minor setback

dear friend

here we are again

i’m not really quite sure who i am anymore

i feel lost

and broken

and empty

and confused

i hurt

all over

and i’m not sure where to start

or how to even begin

to pick up the pieces

and try again

i want to go home”

i’ll never say i miss you, but i miss what we had. let’s get personal.

•••

so there you have it theydies and gentlethems! some new projects headed your way soon!

as always, let me know what you think in the comments! which series are you most excited for? do you have any questions about them? what does you WIP list look like? let’s chat!

mmt

artists, creative writing, Personal, poetry

Introducing: The Home Brew

i feel like i do this at least once a month but I HAVE A NEW IDEA AND IM REALY EXCITED ABOUT IT

as some of you may know i’ve been bouncing around the idea of a bookshelf/gallery where i could host a collective of different indie art. well, i think i’m going to turn it into a monthly zine — The Home Brew

a monthly literary and art publication coming soon to a browser near you (and maybe even as a physical zine!)

The Home Brew is here to be creative cauldron of ideas. a place where the voices of those in the shadows can come together and meld into something magical.

i’m hoping to discuss topics such as:

spirituality

mental health awareness

LGBTQ+ lifestyle

cozy witchcraft

modern poetry

mixed media/digital art

photography

and whatever else we can come up with together

i’m really excited to start getting this off the ground and i need submissions! we’ll officially launch by January 2020 – but we’ll see how we do before then.

i’m so excited i’ve spent the whole day revamping the site and my social accounts to reflect the changes! i really think this is going to be the best outlet for my passions and i’m excited to share it all with you!

stay tuned for updates!

mmt

artists, Personal

CALLING ALL ARTISTS: we’re starting a collective! #WritingCommunity #ArtShare

welcome back – or hello there – theydies and gentlethems! we’re doing a spotlight promo today because i really loved sharing Luna’s story and i want more of YOUR art to share together! let me hype up your work and add you and your links to the bookshelf or gallery!

so here’s how it works:

you send me an email — check out the submissions tab — and hit me up with ALL your links and some snippets of your work. i do a full length post about you and add your name and links to the collective tabs! it’s kind of awesome. really, the goal is to create an amazing community where we can all share each other’s passion and work and talent and we can celebrate our creativity together!

THE MEDIUM DOES NOT MATTER

i will host ALL FORMS OF ART.

personal writing, prose, poetry, short stories, guest blog posts, mixed media art, collage, music, painting, embroidery, the possibilities are so exciting to me!

SUBMISSION ENTRIES ARE FREE

eventually i’m hoping to be able to HOST AND PROMOTE/PUBLISH all of our work and help indie creators get the starting tools they need. i don’t know what this collective will turn into in the future but for now it’s open and accessible to all.

SHARE YOUR STORY

i’m so excited to see what you all create!

— mmt

artists, book club, Personal, Uncategorized

artist spotlight: Luna Margo Valentine

alright theydies and gentlethems; drumroll please!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

it’s our very first artist spotlight and i’m SO EXCITED to be sharing this writer’s work! (if you’re not sure what the heck this is — check out these posts!)

our first artist is a lovely poetess who goes by the name Luna Margo Valentine.

poetess. dreamer. soft girl. strange woman.

black girl magick at its finest.

i first fell in love with Luna’s writing when i found her on twitter! (you can find her everywhere under the name @imaginarymargo!) her writing is so astonishingly beautiful, it’s truly breathtaking. she can write about the most gut-wrenching topics in such a way that you can only describe it as soft-girl magic. it’s powerful. it’s empowering.

she has two collections on twitter entitled “soft girl” and “space girl” and honestly they are more than worth the read!

soft girl is so gentle. i feel her dreams and i hope she never stops believing. i think you’ll fall in love with her and want to wrap your arms around her in the safest hug. she’s warm and inviting and a blessing to your timeline.

and space girl? “she was once a goddess, now she’s an enigma even to herself”. a breathtaking collection about loss, grief, and healing.

Luna also has a couple collections on Wattpad a handful of poignant, 6 to 10 word stories and an abundance of poetry. and of course you have to keep up with her aesthetically pleasing blog! it’s a beautiful window into an artistic world.

most importantly:

Luna is a passionate soul. a reader of words and visions and moods. she has over a handful of tumblogs and collections dedicated to the aesthetics — the feelings — they evoke. it’s beautiful to scroll through her work and admire it for all that it is. personal; truly passionate.

after all, she says, “I write poetry because it’s magical. Words have so much power and I think everything should be done with passion and with purpose behind it.”

that’s why i love and recommend keeping up with Luna, and the no-doubt brilliant things she’ll accomplish in the years to come.

make sure to keep up with all her adventures and her healing process

xx

diary, Personal, Uncategorized

tuesday — april 23, 2019

i’ve been internally screaming for about a week now

if you don’t know why i’ll share what i posted to facebook earlier:

*****

hi friends!

as a lot of you may know, the past seven years have been an uphill battle for me. you’ve seen me through trauma, mental illness, chronic disabilities, and personal pitfalls. but i’m so happy to be able to stand here today and announce something special

as of tomorrow — April 24, 2019 — i will be FIVE YEARS CLEAN from self-harm and disordered eating! i’m so proud to share this accomplishment with everyone who has had hand in my healing.

to celebrate, i am publishing my debut poetry collection entitled “Crooked Letters To Crooked Lovers” which outlines life after abuse and learning to love yourself again.

it’s available in digital format TODAY and will be available for purchase on amazon later this week!

thanks for all your support through the past few years.

love and light

mmt

*****

HOLY FUCK FUCK FUCK OH MY FUCKN HECKN AHHHHHH

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS OKAY AND IM NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO PROCESS THEM ALL and the caps lock was intentional at first but i thought i turned off half way there, my bad for yelling y’all

i’m so…..

i literally can’t think of a single word to describe my feelings right now. or for the past week for that matter. i’ve had… an emotional week. we’re near my self-love anniversary but this is also a hard time of the year for me with other anniversaries as well….. it’s a hard season for me.

but i’m publishing my DEBUT work (i love that word) and i’m trying to turn this part of my life around.

i will make happier memories. i will continue to succeed. i will continue to grow and learn and thrive.

🌱🌻🌱🌻🌱🌻🌱🌻🌱🌻🌱🌻🌱🌻

things are looking up, sunshine. let’s keep growing.

mmt

Crooked Letters to Crooked Lovers

cozy blogging, creative writing, diary, Personal, poetry, tarot, Uncategorized

support updates and a little more about me! 🖤

hello lovebugs! emmy here!

i just wanted to drop by to tell you all about the work i’ve been doing today! first of all THANK YOU ALL who have been supporting me through the beginning of this year; it’s been a rough one but i’m back to being better than ever and ready to get back to creating regularly!

i updated my patreon support page and tiers and goals!

there you will find all of the creative content i offer as a freelance creator!

” and uh what exactly is a freelance creator?” you maybe asking yourself – well it’s my pleasure to tell you.

i offer a variety of services on a case by case basis.
i write, edit, read tarot cards, and make custom art in several different mediums.

i write:
* poetry
* custom short stories
* custom essays
* custom fanfic
* original prose
and so much more!

i can also edit YOUR:
* essays
* prose
* blog posts
* shop descriptions
* creative writings
and so much more!

my favorite crafts to make are:
* dream catchers
* embroidery hoops
* fluid paintings
* tie dyes
* and anything else we can come up with together!

I love reading tarot cards and i’m very passionate about creating a wholesome and affirming experience with you. i’ve made several custom spreads and i have a few ready made ones on my shop!

you can also find all my handmade art and other services there, too!

CROOKED LETTERS TO CROOKED LOVERS IS FINISHED!!!

if you have no idea what i’m taking about you should explore my page more! it’s my poetry debut!!! and it will be available April 24th! (my 5 year anniversary clean from self harm and disordered eating 💕)

but if you’re too impatient (like me) there’s a snippet of it up available NOW! find it here!!! this is also where i’ll be posting more poetry, essays, and short stories.

i have so much love for all the support you’ve shown my blog and my writing and my art and my passions. i’m excited to be taking another step forward in my goals. i hope you’ll join me.

much love.

mmt